Well, I am off to a great friggin start. It has taken me over two weeks to write a second post. I suck. I "phoned in" the first post then did nothing for 15 days. But I vow that I will never allow this to happen again. Eh, who am I kidding, I will.
Inspiration hit me today at lunch and I had to share a.k.a. bitch. Occasionally I shuffle on down to Shoprite to grab a sandwich, salad or some other prepared crap they are selling. It is there that I realized that I would love to say to society as a whole "Can you please back the fuck up!?!?!" How hard is it to stay at least one foot away from me? Seriously.
I always pay at the self checkout to avoid being behind the Mom with two carts full of Pampers and Juicy Juice, while she digs through her giant envelope of coupons. And at least twice a week as I scan my final item and get ready to pay, someone is close enough to impregnate me. Now I pride myself on being quite speedy at checkouts and ATM's, due to the fact I hate rude douchebags that take forever. So there is no reason to be crowding my space in a non-verbal attempt to say your in a rush. Being so close to me during this process is also self-defeating. I get so flustered having someone's groin resting on my buttocks that it takes me twice as long to finish my order and in turn the longer you have to wait. Also, don't put your stuff down on the checkout before I am done, please. Your not carrying a sack of concrete. You have an apple and a water...RELAX.
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