It is always a difficult task getting your point across when there is a language barrier. It can be quite frustrating and requires lots of patience on both sides. So the best way to speed up the process is to talk very slowly, almost phonetically, and very loudly. I find it always the best way to exchange thoughts with those from another culture.
One person I know has this method down pat. Oh, how she yells and speaks in sentence fragments! It is amazing to watch it unfold. She is so diligent with this technique she even assumes anyone with an accent can't understand her and kindly aids them by increasing the loudness of her normal speaking tone to at least double if not triple the volume.
Another thing I learned from her is how to make international phone calls. Always introduce yourself as coming from the mystical land of America. And don't forget to yell loudly into the receiver and talk slowly just as you would if they were right there in your presence. Remember they cannot understand you if you do not follow procedure.....
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Friday, November 7, 2008
F**k Deer!!!
Damn even-toed ungulates! How has this species not yet evolved to the point where they realize that they shouldn't run towards hulking metal object moving at 40 MPH? How long do we need to co-exist before this mutation in their genes occurs? And finally how are deer not close to extinction but kick ass animals like lions are?
I almost wonder if maybe they are smarter than we think and this doe just happened to want to end her life that night. She did run into the side of my car. Maybe she was sick of the economy and didn't share my hope in Obama. Who knows? If that was her intention though, she failed at it. I am almost positive she ran off after doing that much damage to a vehicle. And for that I have to respect deer a little, that is awesome.
I changed my mind. Deer rule! Fuck lions!
Friday, October 31, 2008
Traffic Rules - A Basic Understanding
I know I have already gone off on NJ drivers but I think we all need to go over two things that might help you out. First off..what is the lane below that I conveniently marked for you with flow arrows?
If you said the fast lane, then you are a moron. Please drive your car into the median forcefully next time you are on the road.
As individuals we all have a perception of what we would consider fast. So the idea of thinking something could be labeled a "fast lane" is just plain retarded. The correct answer and purpose of this lane is to pass. Just a tip, if you are in the far left lane and cars are whizzing by you, take a look in rear view to see if there is a long line of cars waiting for you to roll into an embankment.
Next question! This one is a real head scratcher. What is this mystical sign mean?
Apparently in NJ most drivers think that this sign is pretty much meaningless. This may blow your minds but you have to stop at this sign if their is traffic in the merging lane. I know this is nuts! How can this be when this triangular piece of metal clearly tells me to just yield not stop? To end the confusion, the exact description of a yield sign is "a traffic sign that indicates that a vehicle driver must slow down and prepare to stop if necessary." Pretty friggin simple!
If you said the fast lane, then you are a moron. Please drive your car into the median forcefully next time you are on the road.
As individuals we all have a perception of what we would consider fast. So the idea of thinking something could be labeled a "fast lane" is just plain retarded. The correct answer and purpose of this lane is to pass. Just a tip, if you are in the far left lane and cars are whizzing by you, take a look in rear view to see if there is a long line of cars waiting for you to roll into an embankment.
Next question! This one is a real head scratcher. What is this mystical sign mean?
Apparently in NJ most drivers think that this sign is pretty much meaningless. This may blow your minds but you have to stop at this sign if their is traffic in the merging lane. I know this is nuts! How can this be when this triangular piece of metal clearly tells me to just yield not stop? To end the confusion, the exact description of a yield sign is "a traffic sign that indicates that a vehicle driver must slow down and prepare to stop if necessary." Pretty friggin simple!
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Self-Checkout Encroachment
Well, I am off to a great friggin start. It has taken me over two weeks to write a second post. I suck. I "phoned in" the first post then did nothing for 15 days. But I vow that I will never allow this to happen again. Eh, who am I kidding, I will.
Inspiration hit me today at lunch and I had to share a.k.a. bitch. Occasionally I shuffle on down to Shoprite to grab a sandwich, salad or some other prepared crap they are selling. It is there that I realized that I would love to say to society as a whole "Can you please back the fuck up!?!?!" How hard is it to stay at least one foot away from me? Seriously.
I always pay at the self checkout to avoid being behind the Mom with two carts full of Pampers and Juicy Juice, while she digs through her giant envelope of coupons. And at least twice a week as I scan my final item and get ready to pay, someone is close enough to impregnate me. Now I pride myself on being quite speedy at checkouts and ATM's, due to the fact I hate rude douchebags that take forever. So there is no reason to be crowding my space in a non-verbal attempt to say your in a rush. Being so close to me during this process is also self-defeating. I get so flustered having someone's groin resting on my buttocks that it takes me twice as long to finish my order and in turn the longer you have to wait. Also, don't put your stuff down on the checkout before I am done, please. Your not carrying a sack of concrete. You have an apple and a water...RELAX.
Inspiration hit me today at lunch and I had to share a.k.a. bitch. Occasionally I shuffle on down to Shoprite to grab a sandwich, salad or some other prepared crap they are selling. It is there that I realized that I would love to say to society as a whole "Can you please back the fuck up!?!?!" How hard is it to stay at least one foot away from me? Seriously.
I always pay at the self checkout to avoid being behind the Mom with two carts full of Pampers and Juicy Juice, while she digs through her giant envelope of coupons. And at least twice a week as I scan my final item and get ready to pay, someone is close enough to impregnate me. Now I pride myself on being quite speedy at checkouts and ATM's, due to the fact I hate rude douchebags that take forever. So there is no reason to be crowding my space in a non-verbal attempt to say your in a rush. Being so close to me during this process is also self-defeating. I get so flustered having someone's groin resting on my buttocks that it takes me twice as long to finish my order and in turn the longer you have to wait. Also, don't put your stuff down on the checkout before I am done, please. Your not carrying a sack of concrete. You have an apple and a water...RELAX.
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